


Never Gave a Sign

by GoringWriting



Series: The Veil [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s04e01-02 The Darkest Hour, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: Arthur's Pov during "In Secret" and "I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain" as he and his knights travel towards the veil.
Relationships: Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: The Veil [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020411
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Never Gave a Sign

Arthur isn’t an idiot. He knows that his manservant has no intentions of letting him sacrifice himself at the veil. Merlin drank poison for him, broke him out of his room. Defied Uther, tried to drink poison for him a second time, and pulled him out of the way of a knife. There are probably a number of things that Merlin has done that Arthur himself is unaware of and that scares him. 

So he keeps an eye on Merlin. Puts him down if he can, upsets him so his friend will be less likely to do something stupid. But this is Merlin and he should have known better, this is Merlin he’s talking about. Of course the idiot is still going to sacrifice himself for Arthur. 

So he keeps Merlin to the back when they are traveling there. Makes sure Merlin isn’t near the front or back of the group. He can’t risk Merlin being taken by surprise. Any of them being taken by surprise really. 

Arthur can’t help but marvel at the man he calls an idiot. He’s stood by his side through dragons, armies, and now is willing to lay his life down for Arthur the way a knight would. 

It’s almost too much for him to handle. 

But he is regent and he must act as such and that entails making sure that Merlin does not sacrifice himself. Arthur needs to be the one to do this. 

When Merlin takes the Dorocha attack that was meant for Arthur, it becomes so much worse. Because it’s one thing to know your friend is willing to die for you and another entirely to see it with his own eyes. To feel it with his own skin. To feel Merlin push him back down and launch himself right into the arms of the monster. 

When he sees that Merlin is breathing there is a relief in Arthur that leaves him nearly faint. Merlin is covered in ice and snow and his eyes are closed but he knows that Merlin is breathing. But he is dying. It would be so easy for Arthur to bring him along and when the price is named, allow Merlin to give his life. No one would blame him, Merlin wouldn’t suffer. Merlin would be happy...But Arthur can’t do that. Can’t allow Merlin to give his life like this. 

So, he sends him away. He entrusts him to Lancelot because he knows that there are two knights who would die before allowing Merlin to do so and one of them is Gwaine and one of them is Lancelot and Lancelot isn’t the type to give into Merlin’s demands. 

He knows Merlin has the same idea he did. About the obvious choice being the one to stay and he begs to stay with them. Begs to continue the trip because how can Arthur not sacrifice the person already dying? He knows it and Merlin knows it. 

He also knows Merlin knows why Arthur is sending him away. But he can’t allow Merlin to take his place. He can’t do it. 

So he entrusts Merlin to Lancelot because he knows Lancelot will die before allowing Merlin to do so. Watches them ride off and Arthur breathes a sigh of relief. Merlin will be okay. Lancelot will keep an eye on him. 

He knows Merlin will be angry. He prays his people and his Kingdom will thrive. 

They move on their way. Gwaine is noticeably quieter. They all are. Leon tries to cheer him up but he doesn’t have Merlin’s knack for it. He hopes these men will stand beside whomever takes his place. 

They stop for the night and sleep and he prays that Merlin will make it long enough for Gaius to treat him. 

The next night they are waiting when they hear the door and they see Lancelot coming up to them and Arthur feels as though his heart is breaking apart not only for the loss of a little brother but for the fact that the man Merlin is in love with doesn’t seem at all broken up that Merlin is dead. 

Meanwhile Arthur feels like he’s losing a sibling. 

But he knows Merlin and he knows Lancelot and he knows. That even if he didn’t have feelings for Merlin he would still be upset about his death. The two of them are friends. He is so sure…

Unless...He doesn’t want to get too excited but...

Then Merlin is coming over and Arthur is too happy to be upset and he’s reaching out to touch and make sure Merlin is right there in front of him. 

He knows magic is involved, he doesn’t know how and he doesn’t care. Merlin is alive and Lancelot is too good to be evil so he ignores it. 

But Merlin can’t be here, because he knows what Arthur is going to do and he is the only one who will be able to stop him.

The knights are asleep and he’s up keeping watch and Merlin is with him; they're by the fire and Merlin is pleading to be allowed to take his place. Not even trying to hide it and Arthur can’t. He can’t let his little brother die. 

And it is that thought that makes him do what he does. He considers Merlin a little brother and the man has shown him amazing loyalty, far beyond what even some knights have shown, to both Arthur and Camelot and perhaps Arthur should make things official. 

So he slides his Mother’s sigil from his things and hands it to Merlin who looks confused. Arthur knows the man doesn’t understand what it is or what it is going to do and Arthur smiles sadly and explains and Merlin tries so hard to give it back but Arthur won’t have it. He has a letter explaining to Leon what he’s just done and he knows the Knight won’t hide it, just as he knows Merlin might be an idiot but he will be an amazing Regent and future King. 

Merlin will take the throne and Arthur prays he will one day watch from the veil as Merlin and Lancelot take in wards and raise their chosen heir. If anyone could get away with marrying a man it would be those two who, in putting their minds together, could probably defeat Morgana without help. Not that Arthur will say that to their faces.

They make their way to the veil and Elyan, Leon, and Percival stay to fight the Wyverns, for whatever reason there are wyverns, and he faces off with the gatekeeper. He sees Gwaine fall unconscious and he starts to offer himself bet before he can he’s knocked unconscious as well. 

He wakes up sore and with his head hurting, he really does get knocked out far too much than is proper. He looks around and remembers where he is and his eyes search for Merlin, there’s no veil, it’s closed, that means someone was sacrificed. 

He sees Merlin kneeling on the ground, eyes blank and unseeing and Arthur freezes and does another scan and realizes there is someone missing. 

Lancelot. 

Lancelot never gave a warning sign. Arthur doesn’t know if he knew what Merlin and himself were planning but he did it. He took both of their places. He never gave a warning sign. But Merlin did and Arthur focused his attention on Merlin. 

He should have focused on Lancelot as well. 

Merlin isn’t looking so good and he can see the heartbreak in his eyes. Arthur has never been good at emotions but he does know that Merlin needs someone right now and he pulls Merlin into his lap and hugs him as tight as he can. 

Merlin immediately starts sobbing and shaking and Arthur is afraid that his friend is going to shake apart at this point. Arthur hugs him as tightly as he can holding him together and maybe he’s doing it to keep himself together as well. 

He’s in no condition to work, but Merlin doesn’t want to be alone. So, Arthur has Gwaine take him to Ealdor. Perhaps Hunith can’t help him where Arthur will fail. 

When Merlin returns he is not the same. He still has the sigil but after his trip to Ealdor and he knows it’s fake. Merlin’s smile is too big, his eyes too bright, and his skin too pale. Arthur knows his friend isn’t ready to be back but Merlin insists and no matter what Arthur says Merlin ignores him. 

He knows Lancelot would know how to help. He always knew how to handle Merlin better than anyone.

But Lancelot is gone and Merlin is alone and Arthur fluctuates between being angry with Lancelot for hurting Merlin is grateful to him for saving him. 

Grateful that he has more time with his little brother, getting him ready to take over in secret. 

While feeling like he betrayed Merlin’s trust. 

Arthur sent Merlin with Lancelot because Lancelot would die before allowing Merlin to. 

Arthur hates being right.


End file.
